A Skeptical Perspective
by Suen Yuu Qi
Summary: TezukaxFuji I'm obsessed with this pairing XD oneshot, from Tezuka's point of view. Drabbling, don't count on some great plot or anything. This is merely a sorry replacement of my overdue fifth chapter to The 144th Hour.


HI!

I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T GET THE NEXT CHAPTER UP IN "THE 144TH HOUR"! T.T I can't upload it anytime soon by the end of the week, I will try my best, but really, I haven't goten far in this next chapter yet, that's mainly due to my dumb and tedious homework, three retarded books and yeah, lots and lots of writing v.v so sorry, so anyways, I thought that since I would't be getting anything up, I'll just write a short one-shot (this is about 1,800 or so words, not much) about TezuFuji (we all love this pairing, ne? XD) just for a substitute xD Don't hate me please, I'm so sorry I didn't get the fifth chappie up for the other story...

Small note: I tried a diferent style this time, I hope you all will like it! xp

* * *

**A SKEPTICAL PERSPECTIVE**

Hi, my name is Tezuka Kunimitsu.

And let me tell you one thing.

……

I'm gay.

Okay, you're not surprised. In fact, you shouldn't be. I do not expect that a few words would make even the smartest person on earth understand this paradox.

So, let me tell you one _more_ thing.

……

I'm in love.

Great, I can really get you motivated with that, phft. What am I thinking?

If there's really something special in my life, it'll really be a waste of time to tell, in respect to the fact that it's me whose going to tell it.

And if there's nothing worthwhile to talk about, then my life is as easy as three simple words: tennis, more tennis, and even more tennis.

Unfortunately for you, my life has another word added in just a few months ago.

Fuji Syusuke.

Now you see the complications that might be interfering here.

So, please do not criticize my effort to show you what it means to be "gay" and "in love." Please respect my inability to express direct emotions clearly and consider my lack of romanticism.

And, be ready to do more than just putting your feet inside my shoes.

That's right, you're going to take a step into my life. But I'm warning you, do not regard anything too "dirty," and do not try to imagine such despicable things as "porn" or "hentai." That's too ruthless for a man like me.

Oh, and please be on guard. Do not meddle with my privacy; you are only here to take a tour, remember that well and do not get careless.

Thank you in advance.

Now let's get going.

* * *

Imagine. 

You are walking steadily to the tennis court, your arms crossed in front and your face stern and aware of your surroundings.

Of course, you're never let off guard, especially with crowds of fan girls following you every minute around school. This eventually becomes an irritating habit.

Your confidence level rises as your voice commands a 20 lap around the court. It's only such as an amusing sight as you watch Momo and Kaidoh bicker about whose fault it was to consequence running these laps.

As always, encouragement is given during the training hours. You put trust in Inui and Ryuzaki-sensei, despite the "special juices" that the glasses-man likes to hand out. No one can blame you; you were only told that it was 100 percent healthy.

This is probably the best time of your day. Tennis, to you, is a sport you play full of passion and joy. It defines much of your life.

You take your time to pack up, unlike the other regulars who hurry off to buy big buns and meals. But that can only exclude one other who finds it necessary to stay a bit later than usual as well.

Hence, it's often been a pleasure to wait out for him in return.

Erm, with reason… of course.

You can never find the right word to describe him as he is. Mysterious.

That's as much as you can credit him. And perhaps he's a bit sadistic, but in a wrong sense, it sounds too powerfully critical. You'd definitely prefer some other term.

Truthfully, you can very well say that you're fairly unsociable, so when questioned about your friends, you either say "Oishi" or, as you may think later on, "Fuji."

However, the friendship between you and Fuji had never been truly solid.

Or well, it's not in the obvious way.

You can very well put blame on him for stimulating such a silent relationship between you two. You've always noticed that he's always around you, always following you, always there whenever you turn your head.

But, you've never thought too much about him. Thus, you infer from his actions that he's your friend.

Indeed, you could see the delight on his face when he heard you say that.

By then, he wasn't just watching you from afar. He began intimate ways of touching you. He would hold your hand as he led the way to class, poke you on your shoulder as you stood still watching the regulars play, and once even suggested to help you clean your glasses, putting it back on as he tucked the sides onto the hook of your ears. At that time, you started to think about getting contact lenses instead.

And definitely, you could have almost choked out the air in your lungs when you last saw him dressing up in the locker room, sweat flowing all over his slender body and his shimmering face.

He was finely constructive in his unusual manners, and often times like this, you knew it was done on purpose. For whatever reason, you find it unworthy of your time to seek out.

So he may be sadistic, but you wouldn't be too sure about that.

The few words that go by and by as you two pass each other in the hallways are considerably too standardized, but it was what defined such friendship.

It is believable that you may, on average, speak about 3 words to him per day. And most likely, those words would be: "Fuji" and "Stop that," the second phrase mainly used when he begins his touching scene daily. You eventually realize that you've given neither a greeting nor a farewell to him at any time.

Well, not on the surface. He seems to understand it quite well.

You suppose it a matter of fact that the two of you became friends, strangely enough. Obviously, he was probably the only one in Seigaku that could match you in tennis and perhaps the only one you can fairly admit to be your eternal rival. Atobe doesn't suit your taste.

It was his natural being that fit him the way he is, though it only nudged you in deep consideration upon his relation with you.

He is of course, pretty much your opposite. Stern and orderly doesn't mix well with his character; on the other hand, he could be defined as feminine and luxuriously gentle. Of course, he isn't a girl, but he doesn't behave much like a boy as well; actually, screw that, he doesn't even _look_ like a boy – in one sense.

Hence, the friendship between you two isn't too exciting.

Whenever you two stand side by side, it's your crossed arms with his hands tucked in his pockets; it's your watchful eye, stoic and proper in every way compared to his happy-go expression with a touch of smile and melancholy closed eyes; it's your silent aura in battle with that of his words that read every line fixed into your brain.

Thus, it becomes a funny thing when the two of you officially became the best of friends. 'Official' as in the sense that everyone in the school referred to that way.

You, likewise, do not mind at all.

He, similarly, felt the same, expressed within a soft chuckle.

The way things were and were going to be, was something you could at the very least call "good," which in other words, also mean "fabulous."

Well, then again, you could say that it was more like "perfect" at that time.

That is, compared to what came _later_.

About 4 months ago, it was the last time you considered him your friend. You know by then, that the relationship between you and him and become more mingled and tangled than ever before. Or, maybe it had always been like that.

_Ahem._ Or so to say, you two were in a relationship. And you still are.

Uh, no, not the friendly kind. Not that, it's the more… _intense_ kind, if you know what I mean.

You couldn't exactly say when it had begun because when you realized the real fact, it's all been going on for a long while already.

Plus, even when you discovered the true meaning, you were uncertain. Such a faulty situation to be unsure of yourself, you could very well admit, but on second thought, this was probably your first experience.

Scratch that. It _was_ your first experience.

And with a good 99 percent chance, it will be your very last as well.

Why 99? That's because you weren't sure. Eventually, it could take only a small kiss to add a 1 to that. Oh yes, you didn't have to wait for that, it was coming.

The first time you kissed him (no wait, switch it: _he_ kissed _you_), you found it more than just being at the top of the world. It was like heaven. It was like drowning in the sea but never dying, or swarming through the clouds and never falling.

It was absolutely… beautiful.

So yes, the wonderful number 100 came to strict place after that day, and you marked it on your calendar, in the event that you might start to lose your mind from his brilliant touch. It might as well be your anniversary also, though there never was an exact date for that.

Of course, there was yet again, the unfinished task you had the need to accomplish. It was securely to be revenge for his abrupt attack on your lips, though you found it full of torture upon your payback.

No, it's commitment. That's the lovely torture that you've set yourself upon.

So you give him what he deserves, although it may be a bit _off_ of what you had first planned upon. You hurl him against the wall and almost instantly found yourself biting the skin of his thin, pale neck. Okay, out of line, that was something you weren't expecting of yourself to do.

Therefore, it was amazing of the way he dragged you into a reverie that soothed your need and his tolerance of your invading tongue. You decided to take things a different route instead. Hence, not the mouth, but the body you would do the harm.

In the end, you made it up to his lower waist before considering the so-called revenge, complete.

At that moment, you figured out two things, both of which you never intended to have achieved. First, you discovered the amusement of tearing apart Fuji's sensitive and fragile body, which surely quite pleased you and at the same time, gave you other ideas as well.

And secondly, which at all times, became the most important, you realized exactly how much you loved him.

How much?

Forever.

Not much when it's in words, though there's much more when you're both on the same bed.

* * *

All right, stop. 

I don't know how you got through all that, but if you did, good for you. Now, scat.

Or, a.k.a. "go away"… please?

And if you'd wish to ask me why it is favorable for me (and you, if you can believe it yourself) that you leave right now by forth of my words?

It's unexplainable. I have a reputation to hold and what's coming next might break it.

……

Uh, bye already?

* * *

**Notes:** omg, did that suck? I had no idea how to end it, so I abruptly wrote a few lines and boom, the end ;;;;; Anyways, I'm so sorry that I haven't gotten the fifth one up. I realized that I wouldn't get it finished in time --darn STUPID homework!-- --tears up biology book-- so I wrote this in about 2 hours cause it didn't take too long. Count this as a substitute heehee XD 


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